Broken Heart

Growing up as a first born in a family of four, I was the eldest sibling followed by three brothers so that obviously says I am the only daughter of my parents and the only sister to my brothers. It feels great when you know that somehow they all look up to you but it is not all that rosy because that title carries with it a lot of responsibilities. All you first borne out there hope you feel what I am saying . To my parents, I have to be a good role model; I have to set the standards whether it is moral values, academics, almost everything.

This was however far from my imagination as a young girl. I did not understand that I would one day be expected to play all these roles and so the only thing that mattered to me was my playing time, and this is where my hearts’ troubles begun. I grew up in a traditional environment, the traditional setting which is now slowly fading away. This was the kind of setting where all the children in the neighborhood would play together at a set apart community field, there were no restrictions or constraints of whose child you should play with, and whose you shouldn’t play with. There was collective conscience even amongst the young ones during play and that was exactly what happened with our parents when we got ourselves into trouble, they had collective conscience. One parent had the authority to discipline all of us and unlike these days, you couldn’t even think of running home to tell your mother of how your neighbor has caned you because that would mean more strokes of the cane.

Of course, all these was so much fun because you didn’t have to worry about KPLC having to cut out your power when you playing a PS or watching a cartoon because that is how it is with the facebook generation, actually those kids should get a life! Anyway, mine is a different story or maybe it is a big placard conveying the message that should have hit home, I am growing old(er), ouch! That was a hard one but it is the reality.

My biggest issue was, and yes ‘WAS’ is the word because right now it isn’t, that I didn’t have a sister. It was a huge problem especially that I had a brother, mark you, by that time they were not yet three but one, just one and I was already complaining. You can now imagine my disappointment and levels of stress when two more boys were introduced into my life. I wanted a girl to play with, one to tell my stories to and to share my room with, but the most important and “viable” reason was one I could exchange chores with. That did not happen and the pick of all these was when my youngest brother, whom I now dearly love, was born. This I must say was a blessing in real disguise and I know I am only saying this because of maturity. Such a statement at that moment did not mean anything to me.

It all started the day I knew I was going to have a sister, I knew because I had told my mother I wanted a sister and so every nerve in me was convinced that my own mother would never stand me up, I was her girl, so I thought, until that evening when my dad came back home without my mother and announced to us that we have a small baby. It was ‘we’, but the moment he said his name was Brian, it wasn’t ‘we’ again but they, I was literally crushed. You may wonder how a small girl would be crushed, yes they get crushed and that, I can say, was my first heart break. Come to think of it, my own father was actually the first person to break my heart but you can rest assured that he restored it to its original form, something that only he can do. And so with a broken heart I did what every broken hearted girl would do, ran to my bedroom, closed the door and cried and not the silent crying that grown up girls cry but the loud cry for little girls. I remember my father knocking at the door and trying to explain to me that children come from God and you can imagine my answer to him was that he should go back and tell that God to give him another baby and it should be a girl…lol, that was crazy. That definitely never happened and I pray every day that it doesn’t, reason being, I love the way things turned out. I am the only sister and so they treasure that so much because they appreciate the one they have than having none at all and of course she is able to sort them out in the house.

And for the record, I totally love all my three brothers so much and those who know me can testify of this, I would never exchange them for anything because they are part of my world, they make me the person that I am and I live my life to set the best example to them and to the youngest,  Daniel Brian, I love you so much bro and of course you too Wycliff and Obah.